Break The Cycle

We started the Park Ministry in September of 2003. Serving breakfast every Sunday to all the guys that live outside and the people from the Homeless Shelter. Michele and I met Luke & Rene the 2nd week we were there.. They were very gothic looking: dark black dyed hair, tons of tattoos, tons of piercings. But...they had the cutest blonde hair, blue eyed little boy-Shane, about 18 months old.

We couldn't resist them. Michele couldn't resist Shane and I was so intrigued by this young couple, close to my oldest daughter's age, that were living in the homeless shelter. We sat and talked to them for awhile and they were very open about their lives. We'd been intimidated by their appearance but they were just two sweet, VERY mixed-up kids. Living in the homeless shelter, toting Shane around with all the drunks in the park. They were doing drugs, and doing their best at parenting, the same way they'd been taught. Seems they'd come from a long line of alcohol and drug addicts.

We spent a few more Sunday mornings in the park feeding them, talking with them, encouraging them as they pursued their GEDs, and finally getting them out of the Homeless Shelter and into a room. Step One had been accomplished.

As Luke and Rene decided to grow closer to God and make decisions that they deemed important to their family, they decided to get married. And they wanted to get married on Christmas Eve. So, I took Rene to get a dress, shoes, earrings, the works! Michele helped her get her hair done. (no more gothic look) and after our Christmas Eve Service, 2003, Michele performed their wedding. It was beautiful. Shane was dressed so cute and quite a few people from church attended. This couple had made so many friends. Young-Old. Rich-Poor. Everyone loved Luke, Rene & Shane. I remember Christmas Day they showed up at the park, not to eat breakfast as usual. They wanted to SERVE breakfast. They'd come so far in their relationship, had jobs, home, and now their family was what they'd always wanted. No more gothic look, some of the piercings were removed and they were ready to enter a new life.

They were really faithful in church. WE have a very cool church with LOUD music, live band, lights, they LOVED it! They volunteered in "The Dive" (3rd-5th Grade) and had a blast. Luke was so into the kids and the soundbooth. And, more and more of our congregation fell in love with these two that were trying so hard to make a new life for themselves.

Luke worked hard, or at least worked hard trying to develop a work ethic. I don't think his dad has held a job. I remember going over to his house once to help Rene get some stuff and the house was scary. Dark and Evil....gargoyles, dragons....weird funky stuff all around the house. Anyways, Luke worked for various men in the church and these guys would spend lots of time just teaching him responsibility. BUt he was willing to try. They had another son, Jayden, and Rene truly wanted to be a SAHM. Not very practical, but she wanted the best for Shane and Jayden so they made it work. Had a small apartment and were doing great!

Last summer we started to notice them skipping church a bit, not a big deal...it's not like we have roll call and chastise you when you're gone, especially with 2 young ones, and everytime we'd check on them, things still seemed good. There were struggles, and we didn't deny them, but they'd come so far...September 11th, 2005....they got caught, majorly busted for Meth. Seems they'd been on it for a few days, the police came, the kids were a mess, the house a wreck and the kids went to foster care, Luke and Rene went to jail.

Of course Michele and I got calls to bail them out, of course we didn't....Rene was blaming it all on Luke, Luke was pretty much taking responsibility for his part in it and decided to submit to whatever punishement he'd face, and pull out of it.

The kids went to foster care. Shane was almost 3 and Jayden, almost 1. Luke went to court, got on probation, started working for Ches & I, and Rene ran. She got a new boyfriend, did drugs with Luke's dad (tore Luke to pieces) and never tried to see her kids. I don't know the hold that meth can have over a person...never tried it. But I know that the Rene that wouldn't attempt to see her kids was NOT the same Rene that I saw running through the halls of the church trying to catch Shane as he was running like a wild Banchee!!

Luke has worked so incredibly hard. He now has a job for $12 an hour, went through intensive financial counseling, parenting classes and started to get visitation to the boys. The first day he had the boys for the weekend he brought them to church and was BEAMING!! He is so proud of what he's doing for himself and his boys. He's the most responsible person in, at least a couple of generations, of his family. He's had the boys for the past 3 weekends by himself at his apartment. He takes them fishing, flying kites and on picnics. No sign of Rene. Jayden looks just like Shane did at that age...blonde hair, bright blue eyes, absolutely infectious smile and laugh.

Today I attended Jayden's funeral. A few days ago he died of crib death at the age of 18 months. It took a few days for Luke to find Rene to let her know. Luke's mom came into the funeral late and tweaking. And his dad showed up after it was over drunk off his butt. Rene came. She was so skinny and her hair was dyed jet black, half of her hair shaved. She's gotten so many more tattoos....they cover her arms and neck. But she seems ready to take care of some stuff. She says she's going to turn herself in on Monday so she can start clearing up some of the crap in her life. She actually said it's jail or the psyche ward. She's a mess and it just tears at my heart.

I hope she goes. She and Luke were together at the funeral but he's not strong enough to be with her right now. She's still using and I know he's still tempted. I think he's done it a couple of times with her recently but knows he HAS to stop. He has to do it for Shane. Shane will be caught up in the Foster Care system for life if he can't pull himself together. So pray....pray for Luke to be strong....for his employer to help him keep his job while he's healing...for Shane...to just understand somehow that both of his parents do love him...for Rene to turn herself in on Monday. She's got three days to change her mind or be persuaded not to do it by her new "boyfriend".

I don't know....the Park Ministry is hard. It's so much easier to stay in my sheltered little life and just pass those people in the park. So many of them are, they really are satisfied where they're at and don't really strive to change. I can accept that, or at least I'm learning to accept that...but we keep going back for the few, the VERY FEW, that do need support and want to make a lifestyle change....I guess pray for us, too. Ches and I get pretty drained and are needing to get an umph to keep going.



Carter, Jayden James
Jayden James Carter September 30, 2004 - June 8, 2006 Our precious angel left us on June 8, 2006 to be with his Heavenly Father.Ê Although his life on earth was only for a short time, he touched many with his beautiful smile, infectious laugh and sweet disposition.Ê He will live in our hearts forever. ÊJayden is survived by his parents, Luke and Rene, his brothers, Leon and Shane, his grandparents, Jimmy Carter, Pamala Lawrence, Marie Bunting, Linda Hemphill, Tom Wooler, Don Hemphill and great grand parents, David Carter and Ted and Vondell Butler. Ê He also leaves behind Uncles and Aunts, James Hemphill, Dillion Bunting, Jacob James Carter, Ray Landoft, Lisa and David Wolfe, Jaymie Lawrence and Jeremy. Ê A Celebration Of Life will be held for Jayden on Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 4:00 PM at the Fellowship Church, 765 24 Rd., Grand Junction, CO. Ê Memorial contributions may be made in the memory of Jayden James Carter at Fellowship Church (Leave A Legacy), 765 24 Rd. Grand Junction, Colorado, 81505.Ê Floral contributions are also welcome.
Published in The Daily Sentinel on 6/14/2006.